what we shouldn't know...
but really want to...
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You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness…
What is there left to do after you realize you’re all alone. Plastering a smile on my face all day starts to take a toll. Hiding just to be able to cry gets exhausting. Begging for any affection I can get gets embarrassing. Feeling empty just gets me nowhere. Everything around me is full of sadness, and no matter what happens it can’t turn to happiness. Giving up seems so easy. Forgetting becomes my painkiller. Isolation gives me time. Going numb seems like the best idea so far.
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I need you to lie to me
I don’t feel human anymore; I feel like a robot that does what a computer tells it to. I’ve lost all feeling and I’ve grown numb. I can’t speak anymore, it’s like I’m not allowed. All I do is listen, listen to everyone complaining, but I can’t complain myself. My emotions are gone, all I feel is emptiness. An ocean of nothingness surrounds me, drowning me very slowly pulling me under. I can’t do the simplest things not a tear comes out; I’ve lost my ability to cry. People smile and laugh, all I do is watch. I’m like a toy for everyone to use. Its okay for others to play around with my emotions for all they care I don’t feel a thing. The worst thing is I actually start to believe them; that I am nothing but a toy for everyone to use something with nothing to say and nothing to feel.
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Yeah, you’d bleed just to know you’re alive
Its funny how the world never stops spinning… everyone is so caught up in their lives. They are so worried about the smallest things that don’t matter. But they never seem to notice other things, like the fact that I feel like I’m dying inside and I can’t do anything about it. Things constantly keep moving and moving and moving until I feel so nauseous that I have to barf. The weird thing is: I don’t even feel like I’m driving in this “car ride” called my life. Lately I feel like I’m just a passenger in this trip who can’t even decide what station to play on the radio. I don’t get a say whether it’s too cold or too hot, all I can do is stay quiet and hope that all this ends soon. I close my eyes and wish for a better scenario, somewhere where I can actually take control of my life, somewhere where I’m safe. I want to be safe from all the things that bring me down, safe from all these insecurities about myself. But truth is, that scenario doesn’t exist and it probably never will, so for now all I can do is sit back, close my eyes, and pretend.
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OH MY GOD SO THE WANTED HAS JOINED TUMBLR, WHAT NOW? :O
freaking out or asdfghjkl! hahahahaha
WELCOME TO OUR WORLD BOY’S!
(via thewantedblog)
